Finding You
by IssburForge
Summary: Eren and Levi continue to see each other in their dreams but don't know who each other are. What will happen when they finally meet?
1. Chapter 1

_The cold was bitter, nipping at his ankles, seething through his ripped jeans. Eren's breath came in gasps as he searched for somewhere to turn but he was trapped. _

_"Dammit!" He cursed slamming his fists into the wall and instantly regretting his mistake. The footsteps grew closer and the pain in his hand went unnoticed as his heart thrummed so hard he thought it would burst from his chest. He heard as skid as sneakers turned and he was staring into those cold blue eyes once more. _

Eren awoke with a start, nearly hitting his head on the low-hanging ceiling. Cold sweat dripped down his neck as he gasped, trying to catch his breath. He sighed, running a hand sticky with sweat through his hair. He threw off the small blanket and climbed off the cot. His feet touched the cold cement and he shivered. Another day, might as well get up and face it. He let out an exasperated sigh. No matter what he did those cold blue eyes always haunted his dreams, and every corner he turned brought fear tugging at him. Eren pushed the thought away and realized his right hand was shaking. He sighed and gripped it tightly. Ever since he was young, whenever he was anxious or excited or sad his right hand would shake spastically. He began to slip on some ripped jeans as the cold sun streamed through his foggy window.

"What's with the gloom and doom Rabbit?" Eren grunted irritably as Jean hung on his shoulder.

"Will you stop calling me that?" The brunette shrugged and slowed his pace to walk with Marco. Eren squared his shoulders and quickened his pace slightly. It was cold out and he didn't like how similar this was to his dream.

"Eren what's wrong?" Armin had somehow appeared by the young man's side.

"Nothing." He grumbled.

"Your right hand begs to differ." The boy, who hadn't even realized his hand was shaking, shoved it farther into his pocket.

"I'm fine." He murmured almost to himself. Armin looked worried but didn't push it. He could only barely grasp all of Eren's struggles.

Eren walked with his head down, staring at the cracks in the pavement. He sighed and his breath puffed out lightly. All he wanted was to be normal. To fit in with everyone else, to disappear into the flow. He pulled out his shaking hand and stared at the bite marks on the side of it. It was an old comfort that had left him with plenty of scars, although whenever people asked him about it he just told them he got bit by a dog.

"Oof!" Eren left out a breath as he was pulled from his thoughts by running straight into someone's chest. "I'm sorry…" Eren trailed off as he looked up to see a pair of blue eyes. "I-uh." The other boy just smiled and continued on his way. It wasn't him. It wasn't the mystery boy with the cold blue eyes. With the dark hair and pale skin and small size. Downcast, the boy continued to school.

_He ran through the crowds searching for him but he couldn't find him. Where was he? The brown haired boy with the beautiful green eyes? Just then someone moved aside and he caught a glimpse of emerald eyes. But as he reached out toward him he was swept away by the crowd. _

Levi awoke to the ringing or an alarm clock. He groaned and slammed a hand down on the snooze button before groggily getting up. He sat up in his bed staring at the wall wondering if he would ever find the boy who haunted his dreams every night. The boy who's name he could never quite catch. Levi sighed in exasperation before letting his toes touch the cold floor. Another crappy day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Eren…Eren…Eren!"

"Wha…" Eren shook out of his daze quickly. Blue eyes stared into his. Eren's breath caught in his throat.

"Um, you okay Eren?" Armin sat in front of him. Eren looked down chastising himself in his head.

"Yeah its nothing, just thinking about tonight." At that Armin brightened.

"You'll be fine! I'm so happy for you!" Eren had been producing music for a while and recently he'd gotten a big break and had a song played on the radio. He was holding his first concert tonight. He assumed it would just be something small. A tap of a ruler on the front desk broke him from his train of thought.

"Ok class." Eren sighed pulling out his textbook as Armin turned to face the front.

"Hey Levi you going to the concert tonight?" Levi looked up at the group of guys gathered around him. He cocked his head to the side. "Apparently someone from town got a big break and they're playing at the Trost Stadium."

"You mean that washed up baseball field outdoor arena?" Levi asked dryly.

"That'd be the one." He turned to see Erwin behind him.

"Eh- I guess I'll go. What type of music does he play?" Erwin grinned.

"He's a techno artist. He does some vocal dubstep with other artists. "

Levi had to hide his smile. "I'll be there." He said.

Eren wrung his hands nervously. 2 hours 'till show time. The pavilion was nice, it was spacious and dark when it wasn't illuminated with strobes. He was wearing dark ripped skinny jeans, an old My Chemical Romance black tanktop and a grey beanie. He wore his lucky black studs and purple converse. Eren shot a glance at Annie, she would be doing some vocals. He'd recorded his debut with her so he knew just how talented she was. She looked beautiful in her ripped gray jeans and blue crop top. Her spiked nose-ring glinted under the moonlight. Slowly guests began to filter into the field and the empty sand turned into hundreds of figures. He didn't expect so many people to come. The turnout was huge. As minutes passed the pavilion was full to capacity- over capacity. 5 minutes till show. Eren's hand shook slightly and he had to calm himself. He heard the dropbeat start and strobes slowly caressed the viewers. As it picked up intensity Eren clenched his hands in and out of fists. As soon as it the bass dropped he burst onto stage and started doing his thing. He new the chords by heart, his fingers worked liked magic, dancing across the synthesizer as the crowd cheered. A smile played across his face as he raised one hand to pump it up and down to the beat. It was clear to the everyone that Eren knew how to play into an audience's hands. As his first song ended Annie came on stage. The synth started slow, a sad piano an then the beat slowly picked up. And then she started singing.

_In your memory, I'm lost forgotten blown away a blizzard of time!_

_But here I stand alone, forever a victim of the crime!_

_And everytime that I lay awake, I see your eyes and shake,_

_Oh what have I become, my heart breaks with the strum._

_With every beat drop missed, I'm wishing that we kissed but everything seems better,_

_Under your blue eyes!_

_(why can't I stay here forever)_

_Under your blue eyes!_

_(you were just too clever)_

_Under your blue eyes._

Eren couldn't help but grin as the second verse took off.

The show had been sick. That kid had rocked it and Levi had found himself enjoying the show.

"Lets go meet him!" Erwin announced. Before Levi could sputter a protest they were headed to the back of the stage. Levi stuck his hands into the pockets of his skinny black jeans as they walked. He was actually kinda excited to meet the kid, it was hard to make out faces in the darkness so he had only caught bits and pieces of what he looked like. He kept thinking about that song Blue Eyes. It had struck something with him he couldn't quite place. They were rounding the corner when he saw the kid. The boy turned and looked him straight in the eyes and Levi gasped out loud. It was him. The boy he saw every night when he closed his eyes. Those same green eyes.

Eren stopped in his tracks as he saw those eyes and he had no doubt this time. It was him. It was the blue eyed boy. He was staring at him with equal shock.

_He's-He's beautiful. _Levi thought.

_He's flawless. _Eren mused.

The boy had started to make his way toward Levi. Levi just stood there stunned as the boy approached. Soon the brown-haired kid was right in front of him. He was even more stunning up close, glistening green eyes, spiky brown hair and slightly tan skin. Levi realized that the boy was slightly taller than him and sighed inwardly. "Eren Jaegar." The boy stuck out a hand.

"Levi Ackerman." They shook hands as they stared into each others eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Things finally got interesting woot woot! **

And there Eren and Levi stood, meeting the boy of their dreams (literally). For a second they just shifted from foot to foot. Then suddenly Erwin popped up.

"Hi my name's Erwin." He shook Eren's hand forcefully making him wince. Eren tried to play out a smile but he all of a sudden he was feeling really tired. He ran a shaky hand through his sweaty hair making it stand on end. Levi glanced at Eren's hand that was shivering quite vigorously.

"Hey man are you ok?" Levi asked gesturing towards his hand. Eren quickly shoved his hand in his pocket.

"It's nothing- I'm fine." Eren's breath was a little shaky. The shock of meeting Levi for the first time was apparent. As Erwin drifted away into a group of friends Eren took a chance.

"Well uh I should be getting home but um would you like to grab coffee together sometime or uh something?" He blushed slightly.

"Yah man that'd be cool." Levi smiled, actually smiled, at Eren. As Levi turned back to his friends Eren let out a sigh of relief. Eren began the walk home.

Levi's nerves were on end from meeting Eren and getting asked out by him. No, he probably was just being friendly, he probably just wanted to hang out. Levi convinced himself it wasn't a date and he shouldn't get his hopes up. Levi heard the ding of a new text on his phone. _Coffee at 8:00 sound good? _How the hell did Eren get his number, he wondered? He pushed it aside and quickly texted back, _Ok see you then. _Now what to wear. Levi usually wasn't one to fuss about what he was gonna wear. He always seemed to have enough clothes but right now he felt like everything was too bland. He sighed and after pawing through his neatly organized closet three times decided on a black and gray striped polo and a pair of black jeans. By the time he had gotten dressed and ready it was 7:40. It was a Saturday which meant the traffic wouldn't be as bad but he decided to walk. He grabbed his sneakers and headed out the door.

Eren sat down at a table near the back holding his coffee in between his hands, feeling the warmth rolling off the cup. He heard a shuffle and looked up just as Levi sat down.

"Hey." Eren said smiling lightly. Levi looked up realizing just how stunning Eren was when he was well rested and in full light.

"Hey yourself." Levi smirked taking a sip of his coffee. As they went back and forth talking about the concert and such Eren caught Levi glancing up into his eyes constantly. Finally he said,

"What?" Levi looked down.

"Sorry it's just you have really beautiful eyes." He murmured. Eren blushed.

"Thank you." They were quiet for a moment. "I like your shirt." Levi laughed lightly.

"Thank you."

As they headed back walking down the street together Levi felt a hand on top of his head. He looked up and saw Eren ruffling his hair.

"Dude your hair is really soft." Eren said. Levi tried to hide his blush.

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be concerned or obliged." Eren laughed.

"Yah maybe you have the soft haired disease." Levi smiled as Eren dropped his hand. After a few seconds Levi intertwined their fingers and they walked down the street hand in hand. Eventually they came to Eren's apartment. "We should do this again sometime." Eren mused.

"I'd like that." Levi grinned.

"See yah later!" Eren called as he disappeared inside the small building. Levi waved. But he was concerned. There was something in the boy's eyes when he walked down the street. Some prickle of fear. Levi sighed his breath making a cloud.

It was night and Eren slipped out of the front door quietly. His feet were silent as he trailed down the alleyway. He finally came to the dark corner where several men stood.

"We've been waiting for you Jaegar." Eren laughed sadistically before throwing off his coat.

"Who is the brave man today?" Eren asked with a laugh in his voice. A man stepped from the shadows, he was skinny and had medium black hair tied back in a tiny tail at his neck. The man took off his coat and got ready to fight. They circled each other in the make-shift arena as a crowd slowly gathered. Eren threw the first punch landing it right in the man's hip. The other man groaned but quickly advanced with surprising speed and landed a kick to Eren's abdomen. He coughed, a little trail of blood coming out. He quickly regained his composure and aimed a sloppy roundhouse kick at the man. He dodged and came at Eren will full force. Eren barely had any time to move as the punch came straight for his face. He ducked and nailed the man in his exposed stomach with a punch. His opponent let out a sharp inhale of breath and Eren grinned ever so slightly. He took the opportunity to smash the man in the chin bringing him down. As soon as he was on the ground Eren took his chance and stopped on his chest fast until a man pulled him off. Eren was breathing heavily and there was blood on his hands and face. Sweat dripped down his neck mixing with dirt and crimson liquid. Soon he was surrounded by a bunch of grumpy men giving him money while others collected it. He smiled as he shoved the small stacks of money into his coat pockets and headed out. This should pay for at least one month's rent, at least he hoped.


	4. Chapter 4

The sound of traffic hummed in the background as Levi traipsed down the side walk. The air had become more chill as fall set in and the heat of August became a distant memory. He looked up boredly and saw none other than Eren, sitting on the dusty cement steps outside of his apartment. Levi grimaced at the fact that the boy would sit in such filth but that was forgotten when Levi noticed the deep bruises lining his jaw bone. Eren looked up and saw Levi and his pupils dilated slightly, he looked almost frightened. Levi moved towards him slowly until he stood right in front of the boy.

"Hi?" Eren's voice quivered slightly. Levi noticed that he had his chin cupped in has hands as an attempt to hide the bruises. Levi grasped Eren's fingers and peeled them off to reveal more prominent marks. He could feel Eren's right hand trembling. His green eyes flashed with something grim.

"I-" Eren rethought his words and turned away, his eyes narrowed. Eren could feel Levi's presence as he sat down beside him. He laced his fingers with Eren's gently and ran a finger along his jaw bone where the bruises were most prominent.

"You don't have to tell me." He whispered and felt Eren sigh inwardly with relief. Eren's eyes shone with tears slightly as he turned back toward Levi.

"You don't have to worry about me." He smiled weakly. Levi almost smiled but caught himself.

"I should get going." He said as he rose from his seat next to Eren, dusting off his pants. Eren waved lightly as Levi headed back the way he came. Eren let his hand drop and his face slide into his hands as the onyx haired boy turned the corner. He had another match tonight.

The first match went good. The second match left him with bruises. The third one paid off his rent. But the fourth...

The moonlight caught on the determined face of his competitor as Eren circled him. There was that same twisted grin on his features as he thought out his next move. But before he could move there was a strong foot coming toward his head and everything faded to black.

Eren came to slowly, and he saw thin slits of moonlight cutting through the alley. He ran a hand through his hair that was caked with blood. Roughly he stood up, his legs wavering. There was a dark stain that made a make-shift halo where his head had been. Eren felt the side of his face. His jaw was clearly broken. _Shit Levi will definitely notice this._ He could usually just cover up the bruises on his face but it had been a while since he'd got his ass kicked bad. At least he could walk, he thought as he stumbled home slowly.

When Eren woke in the morning and looked in the mirror he was greeted with not only a broken jaw, but two black eyes and a broken nose. He groaned inwardly as pain sparked with every breath. He shuffled through some old medical supplies and pulled out a roll of adhesive tape. He taped his jaw but he knew he'd just have to let the rest heal on its own. He heard a ding 0n his phone and groaned inwardly. _Perfect timing Levi. _He thought sarcastically. He checked his messages. _Coffee sound good? _Eren bit his lip but quickly regretted it as a sharp pain went down his jaw bone. He quickly typed back _I'm feeling kinda under the weather today, sorry. _He went back to inspecting his bruises when phone let out a ring again. He checked it _Too bad, I already bought you some. Meet me at the park ASAP. _Eren chuckled at Levi's stubborn attitude. He knew that there was nothing he could do to make his face look like he didn't have the shit beaten out of him so he just left it. He threw on a jacket and a shirt that wasn't soaked through with blood and headed out the door.

Levi waited patiently at the abandoned park. No one came here anymore, it was overgrown with trees and the swings hung off their hinges dully. He looked up as he heard footsteps and stiffened. He did a double take before realizing it was Eren. He looked bad- real bad. As the boy looked up he saw that both of his eyes were ringed in black and blue, his nose was crooked and bloody and his jaw was clearly out of place and almost completely black. A bandage was holding it in place but it was still crooked. Levi couldn't contain his shock as Eren sat down next to him, beaten and bruised.

"Hey." Eren said cheerily. He was taken aback. Here was this boy who clearly had the shit beaten out of him and every breath looked like it hurt but he gave the biggest grin. Levi felt his arms circle around him as Eren lay his head against his chest. "I missed you." Eren murmured. It had been a couple weeks since he had last the boy and likewise. Eren had fought every night.

"I missed you too." Levi whispered. Eren pulled back to look him in the eyes.

"Listen I know you're worried but you have to understand I-" Eren sucked in a breath. "I can't tell you just yet." Levi looked down. "I mean I trust you and everything it's just you know." Eren said hurriedly, trailing off. The boy looked away. Levi shoved a coffee in his direction and then looked up. He let his fingers trail along Eren's jaw.

"You did a sucky taping job, let me fix this up at my place." Eren laughed lightly, resulting in him clutching his chest. Levi laid a hand on his back worriedly. "You ok?" Eren waved him off.

"Yeah I'm fine." He coughed again and his whole body shook causing him to cough harder. Levi kept a firm hand on his back as he continued to convulse. When the shaking finally stopped Levi shoved the mug into his hand forcefully. "Drink." He commanded. Eren gave him a smile of thanks and quickly gulped down the hot liquid.

"You're a life saver, you know that?" Levi smirked.

"What flavor." Eren punched his shoulder playfully and the older boy's lip twitched up slightly. He was glad that the boy still had spirit.

**Might update again today :D. Hope you like it plz review so I know how I'm doing. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: chapter may be triggering for some individuals.**

Eren rose in the dark and started to get dressed. He wasn't exactly looking forward to fighting with a broken jaw and nose but what could he do about it? He needed to pay his rent. He stepped out the door and was about to round the corner when he heard,

"Where do you think you're going?" Eren whirled and saw Levi's grey eyes sparkling in the dark.

"Levi what are-" Levi stepped forward and Eren stopped talking.

"I should be asking you the same question." Eren looked away.

"I was just going to the store, geez Levi." Levi raised an eyebrow. Eren fished around for the money he had left from his last fight. "See?" Eren tried to keep his voice even. Levi sighed and stepped towards Eren, making the boy stiffen. Levi stood on his toes so he could look the boy right in his face.

"I worry about you Eren." He whispered, laying his forehead against Eren's temple and closing his eyes. After a moment he drew back. "Enjoy your night." He said, and left. Eren felt so shallow for lying. He waited until Levi was out of sight before turning into the alley and leaving.

Levi knew Eren was lying but he wasn't about to fight with the boy. He sighed. He loved Eren, but he knew Eren didn't feel the same. Maybe he should just let it go. Maybe he should stop before he really started caring. But he couldn't. Because Eren, that little brat had wedged his way right into Levi's emotionless world and grabbed his heart. And there was no turning back now.

A week had passed since Eren had run into Levi. Things had gotten bad. Real bad.

"Eren you need to stop this." Armin growled. Armin was the only one who knew about Eren's late night fights. "I know you're tight for money but why don't you find a good job?"

"You know I can't. I'd never make the cut, and I'd always feel...different." Eren growled.

"You know what I'm done. I'm done with you saying that you can't do this. I hate you giving up on yourself! I'm done Eren!" Eren turned to call out but Armin had already slammed the door shut. For days Eren had called him but there was no reply. Eren had stopped eating and he'd been spending his nights drunk. He was out of money and in deep debt.

Eren stumbled home, thoroughly drunk and bruised. He had been unable to care for himself and so his jaw was crooked and his nose was slightly awry. He tripped over his own feet and his head connected with the alley wall. He swore as blood began to flow from his mouth. He stopped to lean against the wall, crimson streaming from his mouth and his fist which had been deeply cut when he fell on some glass.

"E-Eren?" Dizzily Eren looked up to see a somewhat farmiliar face. But everything was spinning and he squinted trying to make it out. The figure rushed forward as Eren slumped, catching him. Eren felt himself being laid on the ground and he let out a moan.

Levi stared in horror as he saw Eren. His eyes were bloodshot, his face bruised with blood dripping from his lip and hand. He was clearly drunk and too thin. He looked so ill. Levi saw him slouching forward and quickly rushed forward to catch the younger boy. He quickly laid him down on the ground and the boy groaned through his teeth.

"Who are you?" Levi winced.

"It's me. Levi." He said quickly. Eren's eyes shot open and he reached out his hand and Levi nearly gasped when he saw the deep cut. The angry red mark stretched across his whole palm.

"Levi?" Eren's voice came out like a whimper and that just about broke Levi.

"I'm taking you to a hospital-"

"No!" Eren shrieked, surprising Levi. "I-I- No hospital- I can't pay-In debt-" Eren sputtered hurriedly. Levi sighed and picked Eren up off the ground. Levi decided to bring him back to his house, Levi's was farther and the boy needed care-now. Levi stumbled under the weight but somehow manage to get to Eren's apartment, even with him limp and bleeding in his arms. As soon as they got inside Levi laid him down on the couch.

"Where's your first aid kit?" Levi asked forcefully.

"Bathroom...cabinet." Eren pointed lazily down the hall. Levi rushed off in that direction to look.

Levi was in his house. And Eren was bleeding, drunk on the couch. Eren thought it all over as Levi scrambled for medical supplies. He forced himself not to cry but he was so pathetic. Levi had saved Eren on more than one occasion. He felt so….so...helpless. He stumbled to get up, leaning his hand against the door and he felt pain like never before. The hard surface against the deep cut on his hand hurt like hell. He cried out and crumpled to his knees instinctively. _So weak. _He thought as he curled into a ball hugging his knees to his chest as tears slowly slid down his face. He could see Levi out of the corner of his eye.

"Eren?" The boy curled into a tighter ball. He could sense Levi kneeling down next to him. He buried his head deeper into the crook of his knee. He didn't want Levi to see him like this. He was a wreck. A sob tore from his chest and he curled up even tighter, his shoulders shaking as he cried silently. He flinched as Levi lay a hand on his shoulder. "Eren look at me." Eren shook his head. "Eren." The younger boy sniffled.

"I'm pathetic Levi. I don't deserve you." The alcohol was slowly ebbing off.

"Eren listen to me." At which point the boy looked up making Levi flinch. His face was dirty and tears were streaked along his cheeks. "I don't care what you think because you- you rotten little brat, have stepped into my vision and now all I can think about is you and god you're so stupid." And then Levi leaned in and kissed him. Eren's eyes shot open but he slowly softened, letting them close. They pulled each other close and Levi cupped Eren's chin as he deepened the kiss. He could feel the tears wet on Eren's face and it pained him. Finally they broke apart gasping for breath. "Now let me fix you up."

**I know this is like rushed with lots of emotions. I feel like my writing has been getting sloppy. So sorry guys D:**


	6. Chapter 6

Eren woke up circled in Levi's warm embrace. He grunted as his muscles ached with each inhale. He could feel Levi's breath warm on his neck, as the older boy tightened his arms around Eren in his sleep. Eren made an attempt to slip out of his grasp but just as he was tiptoeing out of the room Levi caught his wrist circling him back. "Levi let me go." Eren huffed.

"Knowing you you'll get yourself killed." Levi murmured amused, his eyes opened only slightly. Eren sighed and lay back down.

Eren woke to the slight rustling of pages. He glanced over to see Levi sitting up in the bed, his head bent over a book. Eren took a moment to observe the boy. His usually perfectly combed hair was sticking up at a slight angle. His slacks were frumpy and baggy on his thin frame.

"Whatcha reading?" Levi started when he heard Eren's voice. He slid his bookmark in and quickly snapped the book shut.

"J-just something for history." Eren quickly snatched the book out of his hand.

"_Waiting for you._" Eren read the title aloud and smirked. "Doesn't exactly sound like a history book." He commented before tossing it back. Levi blushed ever so slightly making Eren laugh.

"Hey I'm not the one drinking his life away just cause Armin got mad." Levi hissed. Eren winced slightly.

"First of all, how the hell do you know that?" Eren shot back, "And second, I just don't peg you as the romantic type." Levi shrugged. "You still didn't answer my question about Armin." Eren pressed. Levi shrugged again.

"He told me he was worried about you and wanted me to check if you were okay." He paused and then added quietly "Thank god he did."

"I wasn't that bad! I would've been fine." Eren retorted crossing his arms. Levi rolled his eyes.

"You kidding me, you were half dead and 100% trashed." Eren winced. _If you hadn't interfered I wouldn't have to be here. _Levi caught his scowl and a sense of worry washed over him. "You sure you're okay?" Eren just looked away.

"Why do you have to care." He said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Er-" Eren shot him a look, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Just stop. I don't need or want your sympathy." With that he got up and stormed out of the room. Eren's head was pounding from last night.

Levi sighed and just sat there for a moment. He threw on his bloodstained clothes, leaving the slacks he'd borrowed from Eren on the bed. He entered the kitchen to see Eren shaking, curled over the sink throwing up the contents of his stomach. He sighed as the stench of puke washed over him. _That's what you get when you're an idiot and over drink. _He thought as he made his way towards the convulsing Eren.

**Sorry guys I've been feeling really uninspired lately, I think we all know the feeling. Sorry for the short chapter but I suppose it's better than nothing. **


	7. Chapter 7

**I apologize for the very late and inexcusable upload. I also apologize in advance for any spelling errors, this was a very rushed piece. **

After less than a week Eren was back in school and Levi was taking classes again at the small community college in town. Eren still hadn't told Levi about the fights. He was back to his normal ways, fighting during the night to pay off his rent. He hadn't see Levi in a while but the upside was it made it easier to conceal what went on when backs were turned.

Eren was sitting at his synthesizer, fingers placed on the keyboard. He didn't understand what was wrong. The notes were right here in front of him but whenever he struck the notes they sound dry and lifeless. He sighed and let his fingers fall, running a hand through his brown hair. He glanced over at his phone. He knew he should text Levi but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. _What the fuck is wrong with me? _Eren mused as he turned back towards the music. He clicked off the synthesizer and keyboard, turning around in his desk chair. The morning light was streaming in through the dull windows behind him. He'd lived by himself ever since his freshman year. His Mom had died of cancer when he was eight and his Dad tried his hardest to make him feel loved. This was hard though because his father worked for a company abroad and was almost never home. He still visited occasionally though. Eren ran his thumb across his palm as he thought. Finally he relented and reached for his phone, whisking it off the table swiftly.

**From: Eren**

**Hey wanna get some coffee?**

He set his phone down, already feeling like he'd made some mistake. But before he could beat himself up about it he heard the telltale ding of a text message. He felt a little queasy as he reached over to grab his phone again.

**From: Levi**

**Yah sure. B there in 15 mins. **

Eren smiled to himself. He was almost completely clean of bruises (he hadn't been losing as much, therefore he didn't have to fight every night) although he was in dire need of a haircut. He began to throw on a new t-shirt as he mulled things over in his head.

Levi had been surprised when he got the text. He was almost positive that the kid hated him now. He stared into the mirror and his reflection stared back harshly. He sighed, _I'm always worse during winter it seems. _There was really no way to make himself look like he hadn't just gone through a mental holocaust. He decided to just leave it. He just hoped Eren wouldn't think too hard on it, it was impossible to wish that he wouldn't notice it. After pulling on some decent clothes, a black and blue striped shirt and some blue jeans, he began the walk to the coffee shop. It was so familiar, it was almost as if he and Eren were meeting for the first time again, as if he hadn't seen him drunk and close to death. As if they hadn't kissed, or slept in each other's arms, as if Levi hadn't worried about him every second that he wasn't around. But all this had happened. Because somethings are inevitable. Some people are inevitable. Levi hunched his shoulders as he walked through the frosty stillness. If he knew one thing, it was that Eren Jaeger was quite possibly, and wholeheartedly, inevitable.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the late chap. Also it's pretty short :\**

Eren arrived at the shop a couple minutes before Levi. He ordered some coffee for himself and Levi. He put cream and sugar in his, but left Levi's black like he liked it. The warmth of the room was getting to him, making him nauseous and so he got up and ventured outside. He sat against the side of the building, hugging his knees to his chest, resting his head in the crook they left. He closed his eyes, trying to calm the bright flashes of white that spiraled behind his lids. He tried to steady his breathing, to bring his vision back. Now was not a good time for this to happen again. He sighed and buried his head deeper into the shelter his body offered. A million thoughts rushed through his mind. What if he had messed things up with Levi? What if he found about Eren and chose to leave him? Eren tried to believe that this relationship could be different from the others but he wasn't entirely convinced. He sat up, resting his head back against the rough brick and closed his eyes. He hummed Chasing Cars, the familiar tune of Snow Patrol ghosting a smile onto his lips. Snow Patrol was his own little secret, as a dubstep composer himself he was supposed to be a fan of Tristam and Krewella and Deadmau5. He opened his eyes slowly and-

"Levi!" Eren sputtered whipping his head up so quickly he nearly knocked himself out. Levi looked down at him, an amused smirk playing out on his face.

"I didn't pin you as a Snow Patrol fan." Eren opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again. Levi eased down beside him and Eren passed him his coffee. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, Eren staring at Levi's tired features. Suddenly Levi felt the warm touch of Eren's fingers on his face. Levi stared at Eren's deep green eyes as the boy ran his fingertips over the stressful lines on Levi's face, his lips slightly parted. Finally Eren met his eyes and Levi felt oddly see through, as if Eren could read him by looking into his eyes.

"Levi…" Eren breathed out slowly. "I'm really sorry…" He let his hand drop as he looked away. Levi took his hand, his face softening as he forced Eren to look him in the eye.

"Hey, it's okay, just don't do that again." His voice was gentle, yet nervous. Levi looked down, worrying his lip with his teeth (which Eren found irresistably hot), "You scared the shit out of me kid." Eren looked up guiltily, as Levi ran his thumb soothingly over the green-eyed boy's palm, still clutching his hand tightly. It was then that Eren remembered something that made him quickly pull his hand away, bunching it up on his jacket as he instinctively curled in on himself slightly. Levi looked at him worriedly. "Eren?" The boy glanced up at him slowly.

"I-I should've been honest with you," Eren started slowly as if testing each word. "About where I go at night." Levi visibly tensed as Eren let out the last words. But Eren knew he couldn't tell him the whole truth. "I fight." He tried. "I fight in the alley's for money." He tried again. "It's just-" and then it all came out in a rush as he explained how he fought to pay his rent and why he was always beat up. But he didn't mention the other thing. The thing that would leave him with more bruises to cover up. Because he knew it wasn't long before Avery came back to town. And he'd be hungry for more.


	9. Chapter 9

**Two short chapters, now prepare for a long chapter after this one! Hope y'all like the cliffhanger and such. **

After a while the two got up and walked home hand in hand. As Levi waved goodbye to Eren he felt a tinge of worry strike a chord in his chest. Eren had promised him that he'd stop fighting and try to find a day job that would earn him just enough to pay his rent, maybe a little to spare for actual food. Levi pushed it off, the brat was, if anything, honest. He stalked back inside and decided to get something to eat.

The day that it happened Eren was just having a normal day. He had finally found a good beat for his next song and after saving a bare dropbeat to his desktop had set off for a morning walk. He pulled on his black trenchcoat that left just enough space to see his black jeans and gray hightop converse. The morning air was brisk as he began to walk down the clear street. Eren was walking along enjoying the view, his c0at billowing as cars swept past. He was looking into the street when he saw it. The old white pickup truck with scratches and dirt, rumbling along. His heartstopped and everything seemed to slow down. Eren quickly smashed back into sensibility and darted behind a house. His blood roared in his ears, his breathing shallow as he lay back against the cold wall. He let himself sink down as he buried his head in his arms. _Please don't let him have seen me, please, please, please. _Eren's thoughts pounded. But he knew he couldn't hide forever. He had to get away. He had to tell someone. _Levi. _He instantly pushed the thought away. He could not tell Levi about Avery Brauner. But maybe...screw it. Eren began stalking his way back home.

It wasn't till late night that it happened. Eren was sitting casually on his bed reading an old comic book when he heard a car switch off. Thinking nothing of it he yawned and rolled onto his side. And then it came, the squeaking of a door handle opening and closing. _His_ door opening and closing. Eren stood up, unsure of what to do. It was probably Levi, he figured. Footsteps on the stairs. Why was he getting worried? The feet coming to rest in front of his door. The door swung open rather violently. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Young, thin face.

"A-Avery?" He barely got the words out before he was being shoved up against the wall and Avery had his tongue practically down his throat, his fingers unbuttoning his shirt. Eren struggled against him trying to get free. But Avery was strong, Eren knew that. So he just let the tears fall down his face again. Like always.


	10. Chapter 10

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**Here's your long chapter. It's really bad I'm sorry I had to write it really fast so it's kinda crammed together. :P hope it doesn't suck too bad.**

When the morning came Avery was gone like usual and Eren was left on his own. He spent half of his morning ripping off the binds that tied him to the bed using his teeth. When he finally got free he threw on clothes and went to make himself coffee. Things were...normal. It was shameful to admit it but for three years Eren and Avery had been 'going out'. This wasn't really true though, it basically just meant Avery dragged him out to brothels and had sex with him every weekend. It was even more shameful to admit that Eren had obliged. No one knew he was gay and therefore he was deprived of sexual interaction. But after 2 years Eren had tried to break up with him. Avery was abusive and all he ever did was bang him and leave. Avery wouldn't let Eren go, instead showing up more often. Finally he had gone out to college in England and Eren had been free of him. Avery was undoubtedly very attractive, with light blonde hair, a thin face and an eyebrow piercing. He was short and muscled but behind his good looks hid all of his ill-intended malice. Avery was good at putting on a fake personality, and Eren liked to tell himself that was why he had fallen in love with that wretched boy. But he knew a small part of him was still deeply in love with the blonde British teen. He sighed running a hand through his hair which was in a desperate need of a trim. He hated himself but he couldn't shake the image of Avery from his head. He looked...good. No, great, he'd aged well his narrow face filling into his prominent cheek bones, his piercing blue eyes becoming more, a shimmering abyss of cerulean swirls. He applauded himself on his own poeticness, smirking as he took a sip of coffee. And then he heard the tell-tale ringing of his phone. _Shit! _Reality came crashing down. He had a boyfriend. And he just had sex with a guy. Who just so happened to _not be his boyfriend. _He groaned slamming his head against the wall, instantly regretting it as pain swelled in his temple. He deserved it he figured as the tears swelled in his eyes. He reached over and picked up the phone swiping to answer. Labored breathing, poured in statically over the phone.

"Levi are you ok?" Eren began to panic.

"I just I-" His voice sounded broken and he was broken off with a hiccuping sob that came from his throat.

"Levi I'm coming over. You're at home right?" Eren rushed.

"Don't come I'm okay, I'm okay." Levi continued to hiccup those words as Eren hung up. He felt sick. He'd barely seen Levi smile, much less cry.

He threw on his coat and raced down the sidewalk. His mind whirled as he sprinted down the cold concrete. Eren finally reached Levi's door and jostled it open bursting inside. He ran up the stairs two at a time (praise his goddamn long legs) and rounded the corner to a small room. Empty. He heard a small sob and whirled into a study. And there he found Levi. He was curled in the corner, one hand pressed limply against the wall, the other clutching his shirt. His bare feet were tilted to side, his whole body at angle, his head bent, pressed next to his hand on the wall. His eyes were closed and tears had streaked lines in his beautiful face.

"Levi!" Eren cried. Levi's hand tightened on his shirt. Eren knelt down in front of him lifting a hand to wipe the tears from his face. "Levi what happened?" Eren pressed his face closer to Levi. Levi let out a strangled sob as he cringed even more.

"I-The-" He hiccuped. "It's just-" He didn't finish instead shrinking in on himself. As he did the hand on the wall slid slightly to reveal the curled edge of a photo. Eren slowly took Levi's hand in his own, sliding his fingers into the warmth of Levi's palm. He plucked the photo carefully from his shaking fingers and then stopped, sucking in a breath. It wasn't a photo at all, instead a yellowed newspaper clipping. "_Family devastated after young girl's suicide" _read the front line. The picture was of a girl about 15 years old, with black hair not unlike Levi's. Eren soon realized with a sinking feeling that the similarity was not coincidental. _Sarah Ackerman. _Levi's sister. The date of her death was three years to the day. He read the small bit left. _After her older brother Levi Ackerman was knocked into a year long coma due to a failed suicide attempt-_ the words all seemed to melt away. Failed suicide attempt. Coma. Levi Ackerman. He sucked in a breath as the words seemed to pound in his brain to the beat of his heart. Eren couldn't quite place what he was feeling, anger? Pity? And then just like that was kissing him. Eren moved his lips with intensity, feeling Levi's body shaking against him, the cold of Levi's tears pressed against his own face. Eren felt Levi's lips work against his own and that gave him a small glimmer of hope. He swung his legs over Levi's hips, the black-haired boy's head resting against the wall. He wasn't sure if this was wrong, what was he doing? He pushed all thoughts aside except Levi. After a while they broke apart, breathing deeply. There were still tears on the dark-haired boy's pale face. Eren winced, and for some reason he thought _I did this to him, it's all my fault. _He leaned in so that his breath was hot on Levi's ear.

"Baby," He whispered, Levi shivering at his touch, "never leave me." He closed his eyes and laid his forehead against Levi's letting out a deep, ragged sigh. They stayed there for a while, all was silent save for their breathing and Levi's sniffling. But just as soon the peace was gonna as Eren remembered Avery and everything was gray again. Levi stirred underneath him.

"You okay?" He asked in a gruff voice, pulling back to look at his face. A pained expression crossed his as he saw the tears in Eren's eyes, threatening to spill over. He just sniffed in response burying his face is the crook of Levi's shoulder. Eren sighed into the fabric of his tshirt.

"It's been a rough couple of weeks." The green-eyed boy said softly. Levi gave a dry laugh,

"Same." He thought for a second as he rested his chin on Eren's head. "I love you." Suddenly Eren sat up, hitting Levi's chin accidently.

"S-sorry." he murmured as Levi rubbed his jaw. "I just don't want you to worry about me." Eren mused. They sat in silence for a moment before Eren continued "At first glance you seem so cocky and carefree but," He looked up, "you push away all your feelings so people don't worry about you." Levi looked away and frowned. Eren rested his forehead against the dark haired boy's chest. For a while they just sat like that, Eren listening to the peaceful thump 0f Levi's heartbeat, Levi stroking the boy's hair. The younger boy was silently wracking his brain for anything to talk about. Finally he settled on what could only be described as the lamest conversation starter ever. Eren looked up. "Hey Levi?" Levi hummed in response. "Have you ever met my cat Percy?" Levi shook his head. The boy's green eyes lit up. He then went into detail about his adorkable cat Percy, who was pure white and a batch of crazy. He recalled the time he came home and found him with his head stuck in a lamp shade, and the how cute he was as a little furry kitten. Levi just smiled. He realized he could listen to the boy go on and on about his cat forever and never get bored. It wasn't the subject really, I mean you can only listen to so much about someone's crazy feline without getting fed up. No, it was the way Eren's eyes lit up and looked so distant as he recounted all of this, the way his tongue rolled smoothly with his words, and his obnoxious hand gestures. As Eren was describing a particularly drastic event involving him having to climb up his bookshelf to get to Percy he paused, noticing Levi's staring. "What?" Levi just smirked. "What?" Eren said again, laughter evident in his voice. Levi just shook his head. The green-eyed boy yawned stretching his long arms up over his head, cracking his neck (which made Levi wince) as he did. "I should probably head home." He said, stretching his legs as he helped Levi up. "You gonna be ok?" Eren added, worry clouding his face. Levi gave him a gentle push.

"You worry too much kid." Eren rolled his eyes before calling a goodbye and heading home, but not without hesitance. His mind whirled with all the events of that night as he walked down the block. Everything had happened so fast, Levi crying, the suicide, Avery, his cat (he chuckled lightly at that). As he reached his house he yawned opening the door. He shut it softly, hung up his coat and turned-

"You're home." The voice came from a familiar blonde man sitting at his table. Eren paused as a hundred emotions washed over him, fear, lust, anger, guilt. He considered his odds for a moment before walking over to the table. He looked down at Avery and sighed.

"You know theres only one way this is gonna happen." Eren murmured. Avery gave him a knowing look and slipped him a twenty. Eren hesitated before taking the cash as he drew in a breath and began to take off his shirt. The blonde smirked, he was too easy, always had been.


End file.
